(Please scroll down for the English version)
上個月某天清晨醒來時，我突然發現右眼下方出現了一片黑影，視線被遮擋。當時並未過多在意，以為這種情況會自然消退，所以那天如常工作、開車並參與會議。直到晚上臨睡時，我發現情況依然如早上般未見好轉，這才告訴師母。她非常緊張，說可能是視網膜脫落。我心裏暗笑，覺得這種情況怎麼可能發生在我這個年紀的人身上？但見她語氣堅定，於是決定第二天下午預約視光師進行檢查。果然，檢查結果顯示右眼的視網膜確實有脫落跡象，需要立即轉診至醫院進行手術。當時我心裏依然困惑，我的近視不算嚴重，平時主要在家工作、探訪和約談，沒有進行劇烈運動，也沒有家族遺傳史，為什麼這種事會發生在我身上呢？
感恩經主內朋友的介紹下，翌日便安排了與一位眼科醫生進行診証。經過詳細檢查後，醫生發現右眼視網膜已經出現了兩個大洞，並且左眼也有撕裂的跡象，必須立即進行手術。醫生首先在我的右眼內注射了一枚氣泡，通過氣壓將視網膜復位，然後連續兩天用激光治療封閉裂縫。醫生還特別囑咐我，接下來的兩周，大部分時間需要臥床休息，以促進視網膜細胞的快速修復，並且每週需回到市中心的診所複診，期間還要繼續進行激光修補。
面對人生第一次遭遇眼疾，視力的限制所帶來的無力感，我的心情有些複雜。一方面，我需要立即停止所有工作，盡可能地休息；另一方面，腦海中卻不斷浮現許多未完成的任務和需要跟進的事項，內心充滿矛盾。我藉著禱告來到神的面前，這給予了我多年來全新的體會。我學習用心靈的耳朵來親近神，這使我再次操練專注，學習更多地聆聽神的聲音，並聆聽自己內心深處的呼聲。特別是在面對個人軟弱、限制以及牧養現實所帶來的張力與挑戰時，當我將心思意念再次牢牢定睛在主耶穌身上時，我感受到神的溫柔和醫治的同在，使我身心靈都得到滋潤與安慰，並繼續以單純的信心來信靠祂。
目前右眼的視力已恢復七八成，左眼上週也進行了激光治療，預計兩週後再覆診。面對漫長的康復期，我感覺就像是在學習放慢生活的節奏，為主走更遠的路做好休息和準備。當內心或他人不時問及為何這種情況會發生在我身上時，我體會到，這背後原來也是神在這個時刻賜予我生命的祝福。我感謝神的看顧和保守；感謝同工們在這段期間幫助我分擔事奉的工作，使我能專心休養；同時，也感謝弟兄姊妹們的代禱、問候和愛心湯水。恩泉家真是一個充滿溫暖與愛的屬靈大家庭。
最後，願我們彼此互勉：
「眼睛就是身上的燈。你的眼睛若瞭亮，全身就光明；你的眼睛若昏花，全身就黑暗。」（馬太福音 6:22）
願神向我們內心說話，願他使我們的眼睛能專一，完全委身給他，成為單純、信靠祂的人。
One morning last month, I woke up and suddenly noticed a dark shadow at the bottom of my right eye, obscuring my vision. At the time, I didn’t think much of it, assuming it would go away on its own, so I went about my day as usual—working, driving, and attending meetings. However, by the time I was about to go to bed that night, I realized the situation hadn’t improved since the morning. That’s when I finally told my wife. She was very concerned and suggested it might be a retinal detachment. I chuckled inwardly, thinking that something like this couldn’t possibly happen to someone my age. But seeing her serious tone, I decided to schedule an appointment with an optometrist the following afternoon. As it turned out, the examination revealed that my right retina was indeed showing signs of detachment, and I needed to be referred to the hospital for immediate surgery. I was still perplexed, wondering why this was happening to me, considering that my nearsightedness isn’t severe, I mainly work from home, do visitations and counseling, don’t engage in strenuous activities, and have no family history of this condition.
By God’s grace, through the introduction of a friend from the church, I was able to meet with an ophthalmologist the very next day. After examining me, the doctor found two large tears in my right retina and also discovered signs of tearing in my left eye, necessitating immediate surgery. The doctor first injected a gas bubble into my right eye to use air pressure to reposition the retina, followed by two consecutive days of laser treatment to seal the tears. He also instructed me to spend most of the next two weeks in bed to allow the retinal cells to heal quickly, and to return to the downtown clinic for weekly follow-ups, during which more laser repairs would be performed.
Facing my first experience with an eye condition, the feeling of powerlessness that came with my impaired vision made me feel quite conflicted. On one hand, I had to immediately stop all work and rest as much as possible; on the other hand, my mind kept swirling with unfinished tasks and matters that needed my attention, leaving me feeling very torn. I brought these feelings before God in prayer, which brought me a new understanding that I hadn’t experienced in years. I learned to draw near to God with the ears of my heart, which helped me refocus and listen more closely to His voice, as well as to the voice deep within myself. Especially in facing the tension and challenges brought about by my personal weaknesses, limitations, and the realities of pastoral ministry, when I once again fixed my thoughts firmly on the Lord Jesus, I felt God’s gentle and healing presence, which brought refreshment and comfort to my body, mind, and spirit, enabling me to continue trusting Him with simple faith.
Currently, my right eye has regained 70-80% of its vision, and last week, my left eye also underwent laser treatment. I am scheduled for a follow-up in two weeks. Facing this long recovery period feels like a lesson in slowing down the pace of life, resting, and preparing to walk further with the Lord in the future. When I or others occasionally wonder why this happened to me, I’ve come to realize that this, too, is a blessing God has given me at this moment in my life. I am grateful for God’s care and protection; I’m thankful to my coworkers who have helped share the burden of ministry during this time, allowing me to focus on recuperating; and I’m also thankful for the prayers, greetings, and the loving soups from my brothers and sisters. SGBC family is truly a spiritual community filled with warmth and love.
Finally, let us encourage one another with these words:
“The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness.” (Matthew 6:22)
May God speak to our hearts, and may He make our eyes single in focus, fully devoted to Him, so that we become people who are simple and trust wholly in Him.