I am deeply grateful to the church for granting me a sabbatical at this time of year. My heart overflows with appreciation for the pastoral team, church leaders, and ESC leaders, whose kindness, encouragement, and faithful service made it possible for me to take a 40-day retreat out of town.
This retreat was a fully immersive, 40-day journey into the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius of Loyola (1491–1556), held at Loyola House in Guelph from October 1 to November 9. It was lived in an atmosphere of silence and prayer, guided by daily spiritual direction, and gently closed with small group sharing. The Exercises gently guide us to recognize the movements of the Spirit in our lives and to respond with greater freedom, love, and attentiveness. Through this process, we deepen our relationship with God, discern life direction, and grow in spiritual freedom. Silent retreats like this one create sacred space to reorient our hearts toward Christ, and Ignatius’ wisdom reminds us that these lessons are meant to carry into our daily lives.
With this entry, I want to begin sharing with my brothers and sisters not only what we did during the retreat, but also the ways I encountered Jesus each day. My hope and prayer are that these reflections will help me treasure and internalize God’s work in my life, while also offering encouragement and inspiration to our spiritual community.
This group of 40-day participants—called the “makers of the Exercises”—included 15 men and women of diverse ages, ethnic backgrounds, and Christian traditions, coming from cities and towns across Ontario, the United States, and even as far as Australia. Being part of this community reminded me of the beauty of God’s work across cultures and experiences, and how the Spirit draws people together from near and far to encounter Him.
We followed a fixed daily rhythm alongside our time for spiritual direction: Mass at 11:45 AM, lunch at 12:30 PM, my spiritual direction session at 2 PM, and supper at 5:30 PM. The rest of the day was left for us to structure according to our own pace. My days unfolded with times of prayer—most often walking the labyrinth, because sitting in a comfortable chair in my room made it far too easy to drift off—walking the land, physical exercise, crafting, and resting. Except for Mass and spiritual direction, the retreat was lived entirely in silence, allowing space for God’s presence to be felt in the simplest moments.
The first five days gently introduced us to the key foundations for entering into the Exercises: retreat silence, habits of prayer, blessed history, grace–review–revisit, prayer practices, God in creation, the Principle and Foundation, and the clay ritual. These days set the rhythm for the journey ahead, inviting us to quiet our hearts and open ourselves to God’s work.
The remainder of the retreat unfolded over four “weeks” (not necessarily seven-day segments), each centered on a major theme: (1) human sinfulness, (2) the call of the King and the life of Jesus, (3) the crucifixion, and (4) the resurrection. Each day, we were given Ignatius’ prayer guides and Scripture passages—not simply to read, but to pray with, meditate on, contemplate, and enter into an intimate conversation with the Lord. These exercises encouraged me to slow down, listen deeply, and notice where Jesus was meeting me in my heart and life.
We were given a copy of the Spiritual Exercises in both literal and contemporary translations. The title of the contemporary version, “Draw Me Into Your Friendship,” kept returning to my heart, reminding me that my spiritual life is, at its core, a friendship with the Lord Jesus. This retreat revealed that my journey is not about striving or achieving, but about growing in this friendship—allowing Jesus to draw me closer to Him, and responding by drawing nearer to Him in return. Each day became an invitation to linger in His presence, to listen, and to be shaped by His love.
Principle and Foundation (literal translation by Elder Mullan, SJ): “God created human beings to praise, reverence, and serve God, and by doing this, to save their souls. God created all other things on the face of the earth to help fulfill this purpose. From this, it follows that we are to use the things of this world only to the extent that they help us to this end, and we ought to rid ourselves of the things of this world to the extent that they get in the way of this end. For this, it is necessary to make ourselves indifferent to all creative things as much as we are able, so that we do not necessarily want health rather than sickness, riches rather than poverty, honour rather than dishonour, a long rather than a short life, and so in all the rest, so that we ultimately desire and choose only what is most conductive for us to the end for which God created us.”
At my first spiritual direction session, my director asked me why I was doing the Spiritual Exercises. Honestly, I didn’t have a clear answer. I only knew that I wanted to meet Jesus and let Him renew my soul—the place where my spirit meets the Holy Spirit. I realized that everything I pour out in life and ministry flows from this inner place, and it needs to be aligned rightly with God.
I started to sit with questions: What is my deepest desire? What do I need to let go of so I can cultivate true freedom—a spirit of indifference, not apathy but freedom from attachment? What does this look like in daily life? What graces am I asking for, and what am I receiving?
Jesus meets me exactly where I am. He sends His grace quietly, gently, always. My task is simply to be aware—free enough not to force anything, yet attentive enough to receive what He gives. I must be humble, admitting my need to be loved so that I can love, to be served so that I can serve, to be led so that I can lead.
This retreat is teaching me to rest in a deep, authentic way, to walk with Jesus and work alongside Him—watching how He moves, noticing the unforced rhythms of grace. He does not burden or weigh down; He guides and frees. I am learning that if I keep company with Him, I will discover how to live lightly, freely, and fully in His presence.
I would like to conclude this entry once more with the “Suscipe”—Latin word for “receive”—a short prayer from St. Ignatius of Loyola that beautifully expresses surrender and trust in God, along with a song inspired by it, which I shared last year, “These Alone Are Enough.”
Suscipe
Saint Ignatius of Loyola, 1491-1556
Take, Lord, and receive all my liberty,
my memory, my understanding,
and my entire will,
All I have and call my own.
You have given all to me.
To you, Lord, I return it.
Everything is yours; do with it what you will.
Give me only your love and your grace,
that is enough for me.